Every hair on my body stood on end and I suddenly, involuntarily, without warning, burst into tears.The break up had been almost an entire year before, but those angry and sad words flashed me right back to my relationship with an incredibly controlling man, Abaddon.

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Controlling relationships usually develop from fear. The controlling partner is afraid that he or she is going to lose the one they love while the one who is being controlled is afraid at first of hurting their partner, and then eventually, of their partner.

Those who control are not necessarily ‘“bad people,’” they simply haven’’t learned that they can be loved, how to love, and how a loving relationship can be healthy for both parties if there is a little trust involved.

It’s difficult for him to keep you on a short leash if you’re always running off to yoga or tennis practice.

When I told Abaddon that I wanted to volunteer to teach illiterate adults to read, he made it seem like I was going to be dating another man and said that it would take away from our relationship.

Learning to discern between healthy and unhealthy relationships is not something that is covered in any class throughout high school or college, and by the time many of us are full swing into our most serious relationships, it can be almost impossible to determine where we stand on the scale of health without partner.

The signs of a controlling relationship are often so subtle in the beginning that we don’t even realize what is happening until we feel trapped in it, afraid for ourselves and equally afraid for our partner.

None of my friends liked Abaddon, (neither did my family) so he didn’t like them.

Which meant I wasn’t really “allowed” to see them often.

These controlling guys invent feelings because they know it’s what they need to display in order to lure you in. ” became “You’re not fucking wearing that, go change.” When we as humans say yes to simple requests, and continue to say yes as the stakes are raised, we’re more likely to continue saying yes.